Tuesday, January 25, 2011

The Crazies get even Crazier

Friends have said that I could write a book about the KoN. I have not been trained to be a writer, but I do have a passion for it. I write, so I guess that makes me a Writer and each person that reads what I write can determine what kind of writer I am -- to them!

If I ever write a book, this might be the first chapter of the book because it is the Last Chapter of the KoN.

Nsis #1 is 2 years younger than me, middle child and the older one between herself and Nsis #2.
Nsis #2 is 8yrs younger than me, and the youngest in the NFOO.

Just when I thought the Crazies couldn't get crazier, they surprise me!
Last night my DH gives me a letter, and says prepare yourself. I said oh great a letter from the Momster, and told him I was not interested, and I thought to myself that I would either throw it in the trash or have the Post Office write on it Return to Sender. But he said, it's not from her, so he handed it to me and I recognized the penmanship
write away. It had been years since I had last had contact with this person, but his penmanship is very distinctive. It is very elegant and esthetically appealing, very attractive and deceptive just like the Demon who wrote it. Evil

Demon Dad wrote me a letter, my DH read it first to shield me, because that is what Musketeers do for the Wives they love, they protect them from harm, even when we think we are strong enough to take on the Monsters by ourselves. He made sure there would be no Triggers or Traps. He said you have got to read this, you will
never believe what happened. So I did and found out that the Momster and the Demon Dad have recently become "very good friends". Demon Dad and the Troll he is married to "include [the Momster] in many of our actives which include going to church". I feel sorry for those poor unfortunate Souls. They have a Demon and now a Momster in their mists w/the powers to N-chant and destroy the lives they N-counter. To bad these soul sucking NVamp don't instantaneously burst into flames the minute they step into church or even a church parking lot. I am praying for spontaneous combustion for all the Ns & Ps that deceive us in human form. Can you invision or imagine what a great pleasent surprise that would be like for the survivors of Ns & Ps?

These two Monsters have spent their
entire lives hating each other, if you were unfortunate enough to N-counter the Momster she would tell you her story of how she was a helpless victim to the Demon Husband and how he deceieved her & hurt her with such great theatrics that people would often ask her or myself, "Exactly when did the divorce happen?" It was over 25 years ago and they were only together for about 1o or 11 years, technically divorced & papers arrived on my 13 birthday. And those that had to listen to her story of vicitmization were completely shocked, said nothing and just shook their head. The Momster thought they felt so badly for her and that their disapproval was about the Demon Dad when they really felt badly for her that after 25 years later all she can ever talk about is how she was a victim. Not how great her kids are doing in spite having a Demon for a Dad, or what other interests the Momster has in her life (because she has none), only how she was done wrong and give her your empathy so she can find some may to manipulate you into serving her. She received much NS of Sympathy and Empathy over the years from people, but eventually after 25 years, even the most compassionate people got burnt out listening over and over again about her victim story, and it eventually played itself out. This is different than what other woman go through when they and their children have been vicimized by a N or P. Loving Moms see how painful it has been for their Children too and comfort them and help them heal, but the Momster added to our suffering with her verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. Other Moms eventually heal, recover, and get on with their lives, but not the Momster, she is stuck in the past because she gets NS from it in a very sick pathological way.

When I was 13 and thrilled that I was officially a teen and had my first period, my Rite of Passage into Womanhood,
all the Momster could talk about was how excited to be divorced from my horrible Father, not her horrible husband, but my horrible Father, like I forced her to marry a Monster. They were married well over a year before I was born, so she can not blame me in any way. She never owns anything. Always someone elses fault. It was always your horrible Father is not sending you any money, instead of her or "my" Horrible ex-Husband. She had a evil way of making us feel like it wasour fault that the Demon Dad was not doing right by her. Like we had some control over what he did or didn't do. Stupid Momster! She spent the entire day bathing in her Marital Freedom to our Demon Dad. Then of course she had to replay all the horrible things he had done to her throughout the years. Never once stopping to comfort us or empathize with us about how we had also suffered, just about her in true N & P form. She was divorced and free, yet played the victim for anyone who would buy her act.

The Demon Dad continues to write in his letter, and here is the Toxic Icing on the Shite Cake, [the Momster] calls [the Troll] her 'best friend'!" And here is the Carcenagentic Cherry on top, "we spent a wonderful Christmas evening together."

Did hell freeze over and no one told me?

You mean the Momster picked the Troll to be her "best friend" from
all of the great choices she had available to select from, As if she had some great selection! The Troll is the Momster's one and only friend. And Christmas in the KoN with a Momster, Demon Dad, and Troll -- what could be more lovely? I would Barf I if wasn't already hysterically laughing!

Their deception is so very halarious. I had to call my Aunt M to warn her that she might be getting a letter, or that the her friend C (who use to be the Momster's longest lasting friend of over 40 years, knew the Momster in College, both got married around the same time, hand their first two children around the same time, went to church together, etc) would also get a call or letter from the Momster. We shall see just how far
this deception lasts and how far it reaches. I am praying for Friend C not to fall prey to their Grand Deception.

These Deceivers are not as good as they think, there is no regret nor remorse in the letter, which is very interesting because the Demon Dad is a professional writer for "a syndicated column for a few newspapers". I don't know if he is actually getting paid for his column. Surely he could have conjured up some Counterfeit Regret & Remorse to put into his letter. He was also in Theather and Coached Drama, so it is very telling that with all his deceptive skills he left out the Counterfeit Regret & Remorse.

That was the halarious part. And here is the harmful part that my DH did not realize and said if he knew it would have hurt me he would not have told me to open the letter. However, I told him that a Painful Truth has Purpose, it brings the hidden uglyness into the light, and brings such clearity, confimation and validation of what I always knew, but could not face and did not want to accept.

Recall that one year ago last December my DH was in the hospital with a tube down his thoat and blood coming out due to some unknown medical problem. My Nsis #2 (the one up until now I thought was only a lower level N) lives about 30 minutes away from the hospital. I called her and asked her to come to the hospital and she had an excuse that she was waiting for her husband to finish picking up the school kids and return to their Day Care business, so she could leave and he could take over watching the kids. We were at a County Hospital nortorious for keeping patients waiting all day. The hours passed away and still no Nsis, more blood came out of my DH and I talked to the Charge Nurse to inform her how long we had been waiting and that DH happens to work for the Largest Newspaper in the State, all of a sudden the doctor came to check on my DH (DH did work for the Largest Newspaper in the State at that time).

The Dr. took DH off to X-ray, and Nsis #2 calls to see how I am holding up. She asked me if I really needed her to come, hoping that I would say no, because I have never asked anything from her in the past, so why should I ask now, "You are a very Strong Christian Woman" and that I didn't need her to be there, that I knew what I needed to do. Truth is she didn't want to have to be inconvienanced. I told her that I did need her to be here with me, and then the very long pause............... you get when you catch a N off guard. Especially from a N who has the Gift of Gab and doesn't let anyone get in a word. She says that she can not get away, and preceives to explain how she knows that my faith is strong and that I need to rely on God, etc. the things that Counterfeit Christians say because they lack true Empathy to connect with the other person. They have a way of making others feel Lesser-Than for needing them, when the truth is that they do not want to be inconvienanced.

I told Nsis #2 that I had to go and make another phone call which was to the person who I have been watching her little DD and her and her parents were always so grateful to me, however, she calls to tell me that she is going to have to find a new Day Care Provider, because she needs someone to watch her child tomorrow and I had no news about my DH and his condition, I wasn't sure at the time if I could continue to do Day Care the very next day, so she was dropping me. This was from a person who parents was on the Emergency Pick-Up and refused to pick up, so I had to wait until the Client got out of school, before I could go to my DH in the hospital.

Back when I first heard that my DH had to drive himself to the Hospital, because his N-supervisor would not allow a fellow employee to drive my DH to the hospital, and that he was alone waiting to be sceen by the doc. I immediately called the Client to pick up her Baby, tried to call the Client's teachers who were suppose to relay emergency messages, called the Baby's grandparents who refused to leave their jobs to pick up their granddaughter. Yes the world is over populated with Ns. Even one of them is one too many! After the grandparents refused to pick up the Baby, I called the Nsis #2 and I told her that I was in no condition to drive myself to the hospital because I am stressed over not being able to get anyone to pick up the Baby while my DH is in the hospital, and she of course couldn't help out with that either. My other friends were at work and Silly me I thought I could depend upon Family. My nFiL came over as soon as he could (immediately left his job where he works locally), and my MiL came over as soon as she could pack up a few things for an over night stay w/DD. Legally I could not leave the Baby w/my nFIL but I definately thought about it, thank goodness the client got out of her class a little early. I spent the entire time in the hospital and Nsis #2 never showed up. You would think she would feel terrible for not being with her older Sis when I needed her, but no just full of excuses to try and make herself feel good about letting us down and of course it worked because she had no guilt whatsoever.

Now a Normal Person would feel bad that her Sister had to go through a terrible experience alone, and that guilt would convict her to vow to be there for the older Sister the
next time she needed her. That the next time she would not let her Sister down. Again in my entire adult life I have not had emergencies and never asked Nsis #2 for help. Interesting how two emergencies happen in a close amount of time. The Blessings of Emergencies is that they reveal the true nature of people. During this time Nsis #1 was living with me and about 60 days later after constant choas in my home that turned into the environment that I grew up in where the Momster was yelling at everyone 24/7 the Nsis #1 was fighting with her youngest 24/7 and no matter what we did to break their disfunctional patten, family meetings, getting on the same page, consequences, incentive sticker charts, lots of praise & hugs when when the Golden Child was kind to others, etc. and nothing worked to stop their distruction.

One weekend when the Nsis #1's NH came to pick her & the kids up to look for apartments we were out taking our DD to the Urgent Care for treatment for a flu, after we were done, I started experincing PTSD symptoms and did not want to go back to my own home. I could not stand to hear their voices fighting with each other not one minute more. DH & I decided to avoid returning home and went out to breakfast. I could not eat anything. Then we decided to drive up into the Country where the Apple Orchards are to get away, even normal everyday sound was so very intense and painful, and even sunshine hurt. I was shaking and an emotional reck, and I was having not only a emotional but a nervous break down, yet I did not want to admit that last part to myself. Nsis#1s NH picked her up, my DH told her to lock the front door and go out the side gate. You think knowing that they are gone for the weekend would restore peace to my tatered nerves, but it did not because I knew they would too soon be returning, and so would the hell they were putting my family through. There was no end in sight to this madness, and that took its toll on me.

I thought about taking my DD and going to live with my SiL who is a great friend of mine until Nsis #1 left, but who knows how long that would be and it is not fair to my DH to not be able to see his Wife or DD, because of the Nsis and her spoiled Golden Child (who Nsis #1 called her own child a Spoiled Brat). So before we set off to the Country side, not knowing what to do or where to go, I sat shaking in the car and my DH steps out of the car to call Nsis #2 and actually beg her to come and help me that he has never seen me like this in all the years we have been together. Again I never ask this Nsis#2 for anything and I am not someone who easily gets emotionally distraught over things. I have been though a lot so I can handle a lot. Nsis#2 tells DH that she needs to speak to me that she doesn't really think I am having an emotional break down (she doubts his assessment) and that I am
just very stressed out. DH hands me the phone, she asks what is going on, and I tell her I am not doing well. She asks do I really need her to be there? I said yes. I do need you to be here. She perceeds to tell me that she has been fasting for a week and is looking forward to going to this Woman's Conference and that she needs to go, but will call me when she gets back. She needs to get a word from God, and I can't remember the rest of the Counterfeit Christian cr@p she said because I just tuned her out, said okay, and hung up. Once again abandoned by the Nsis #2 when I needed her the most and she knew it. She asked if I needed her, I told her that I really did and she rejected me, not once, but twice (the first time when she refused to be with me in the hospital). Not knowing what to do my DH drives us to the Country.

Back to the Letter from the Demon Dad, he says how he and the Momster enjoyed their visit with Nsis #2 when
she went to visit them this past Nov. (they live clear across America). I have gone to Nsis#2 house more in one year than she has come to mine in the past 7 years combined. She is always so very busy and can not get together, but if I want to come to her home where she ignores me by doing other stuff, than that is okay. Demon Dad says how he has been enjoying talking "on a regular basis" with both Nsisters and their Children. I am sure he is making more of it than it really is, but still, Nsis#2 takes weeks to return my phone call, says she is doing something, will call back and doesn't. I never expected she was lying to me. I have seen her do it to others, who she did not want to talk to, but to the Older Sister who loves her and supports her, has always been there for her, changed my personal plans several time when she needed me to support her when she was giving an important speach in her church, as well as other things she needed my emotional support for, and the one who has always stood by her and comforted her during her multiple episodes, she does the brush off to me too.

When Nsis #1 was at our house, she said she now sees the Demon Dad is not a good Dad and is over trying to have a relationship with him. She gave him once last chance and he let her down like he always does. Demon Dad also said how he and the Troll are looking forward to visiting with the Nsisters and their Children this Summer. Nsis #2 said she would
never expose her Children to the Demon Dad (repeat Child molester that hurt the Nsis #1 when she was in Elementary School, a Foster Child who was a friend of mine who lived with us for a little while, and years later his 4 yr. old Adopted D). I warned the Nsis #2 that once you open the door to the devil he is going to want more and you will end up giving him more than you ever thought you would. I prepared her and told her you are going to hear the same Counterfeit Christian cr@p that God has really changed him this time that I heard from him years ago, that deceived me into beliving that he had changed when he really did not. And you know what happen that showed & proved to us that he had not changed and it was just a lie.

Years ago the Demon Dad's Counterfeit Christian cr@p that God has really changed him, that he is active in church, prays, etc., along with the most deceptive part that he asked the Nsis #1 for Forgiveness and she Forgave him. As a Newbie Christian just really starting to get into God's Word this all sounded great because nothing is imposible for God -- which is true-- but Counterfeit Christians will use your very faith. the very thing you hold most dear against you and he did. I did not listen to my intuition telling me
No This is a Lie, because I so desparately wanted it to be true. Plus he said he had gone to therappy and me working on my Master's in Psychology and being a Mental Health Counselor, well that too worked to his evil advantage. Some time had passed since I forgave the Demon Dad and I got very sick while I was in my Master's Program, and I had no insurance and did not want to go to the hospital and rack up a huge Medical Bill on top of the School Loans I had, so I reached out to the Demon Dad and he was estactic to come to my rescue and be my Hero. My DH drove me to the Demon Dad's house and he took me to the doctors, got my medician and the doc said that I could either be hospitalized or be released if someone could take care of me for the next 48 hours, both the Demon Dad and the Troll said they would and they did. My DH did not want to leave me at their home, but we could not afford for him to miss College or Work, so he had to leave without me. The Demon and the Troll assured him that I was in very good hands and I could see him not want to go and leave me behind alone with them. Later he told me he regreted doing that against his intuition and when he was alone in his car driving away he broke down and cried because he felt like he was abandoning me.

That first night I was freaking out, I did not feel safe, nothting I could explain, just a very weird feeling, of aniexty and stress, I now know it was a Spiritual Attack. I was tormeted by thoughts that maybe in the middle of the Night Demon Dad would try and hurt me like he did to his other victims (one being his own D and the other a Foster D), I kept trying to comfort my soul and say that he has changed, etc and that he and the Troll have been kind to me. I was having extreme internal conflict a battle between my Mind, my Heart, and my Gut. Noting happened while I stayed at their house and I felt bad doubting the Demon and the Troll. I went back to school, and DH and I visited them a few more times.

DH and I moved to a new area and I think it was during the Summer and we were going to have a 4th of July party when the Troll calls and says that they can not make it. I thought it was strange, but maybe something came up and she said it did but she couldn't talk about it right now. I said okay call me when you can. Later that night or next day can't remember which the Troll calls to tell me that she has caught the Demon Dad hurting their little 3 or 4 year old Daughter. My heart broke and I told her that my DH and I are coming over right away. We did and found out that Demon Dad had been placed in jail. I asked the Troll if she was
sure that he hurt their little DD and she said yes, because she is a Social Worker, is very aware of what she witnessed and knew that he was covering up something. He was caught in the bathroom with his pants down with his little DD and her underware was in her room. The Demon Dad's Cover-Up is that he was pleasureing himself in the bathroom, little D knocks on the door says she can't wait and has to go potty, so he let her in the bathroom, and I guess that is when the Troll found him with the evidence in the towel for something, not sure where the physical evidence was left. What Demon Dad said is he finished what he was doing, then let his little girl in the bathroom. The Troll was confinced what she saw and she told me that Demon Dad is lying to cover up the Truth. We had to return home, but we kept in contact with her. The Demon Dad spent time in jail, called me to tell me his Deceptive Cover-Up which included finishing self-pleasureing himself while his DD was in the bathroom. DH told me he is lying because as soon as someone would knock on the door that would ruin the moment. No Man in his right mind could remain excited and continue while their child is knocking at the door and especially not in the bathroom with him. I told the Troll what the Deman Dad had told me and she said he was lying that is not the Truth that he is telling her one thing admitting to one thing and telling me something else and that she is disappointed in him for not being honest with me.

Eventually the Demon Dad was released to some of their Friends, he was ordered to go to Molester Therapy, the Troll and him decided to go to Therapy together, and the little girl went to her own therapy, then they went to family therapy, and then we get the call that they are all in Therapy Together. I asked for what purpose HE IS A REPEAT CHILD MOLESTER who preys upon his own children. He said he had changed after he hurt the Nsis#1, God changed him and everything. The Troll blamed Nsis for not telling her about how he hurt her before the Demon and the Troll adopted their D -- of course deflect responsiblity and Blame the Vicitm like she would even had believed my Nsis#1 over the Demon she married. The Troll has crimpling arthesit in her hands, so she thinks she is Lesser-Than and is blessed that the Demon would want to marry her in her condition. She despirately needs a man that she would choose to keep a REPEAT CHILD MOLESTER for a husband and a father for her precious little Daughter (who at the time of her attack is the same age as my little DD now). And
she is the one who caught him hurting their DD. She has seen with her own eyes how evil this Demon Dad is to his own children. This is why she is a Troll. Who knows how many more times he molsested his DD over the years, maybe not overtly, but covertly brushing or rubbing up against her that she knows it is wrong, yet can not identify the abuse because of its covert nature, yet still very damaging to her psyche and soul. We immediatly dropped contact with these evil people and it broke my heart that I could not take that precious child away from these Demons. All these "professional" people walking around with their Super Therapy that will change a Demon into a Dad. The Troll & Demon Dad took their innoncent child and moved out of state to start over, to hide the truth about who they really are under their human disquise.

Under a year ago the Nsis #2 convienced herself out of despiration for a Dad that her
true Father was somewhere in the world waiting for her and that the Momster had an affair with another Man while married to the Demon Dad. There was no proof of this, just the Nsis#2 Despirate Delusion to find a Dad at the age of 30+. She told me about her delusion and I told her look at your hands and your feet and compare them to Nsis #1 you two are 6 years apart yet have the very same bone structure, body built, etc. I told her if you have a differnt Dad, then it is the same one that Nsis #1 has too. I physically look different then the Nsisters, so I told her if anyone has a different Dad it is me, even though I do not look like the NM, my eye color is different, hair color is different, skin tone is a little different, I am her same height and painfully have the shape of her hands. Nsis#2 was extremely determined through self-delusion to prove that she had another Father other than the Demon Dad, and hounded the Momster for a confession, and there was none to give, and if there were I am sure the Momster would not tell her unless she could work it to the Momster's advantage. Then Nsis#2 calls my Aunt M and asks her if the Momster had confessed her affair to her, because we moved next door to my Aunt M (Aunt through love not blood) when Nsis was under 2. She told her that the Demon Dad is her Dad because she looks just like him.

This didn't work for Nsis #2 so I guess she decided she would find the truth from the Demon Dad, and she made contact with him. She thought she could N-chantment him into telling the truth that she longed to hear, that he is not her Demon Dad and that the Momster had an affair and that her real Dad is waiting somewhere in the world waiting for her to find him so that she could love him and that she could have at least one Normal Parent love her in return. Talk about Self-Deception and the lies we tell ourself in order to avoid reality. Instead the Demon Dad N-chanted her with promises of wanting to have the Nsis's kids put in his Will with her permission (like you need someone's permission) and that he wants to leave his grandchildren something (he has nothing to offer, everything is in the Troll's name and will go to her and her DD who is now starting College). He N-chanted her by using her very faith against her and promissed that he is a "changed man" that God has done a Miracle. God does do Miracales and when God does a Miracle -- it works the
first time! I have never come across a situation in the Bible where God created a Miracle and said darn it, it didn't work, I will have to try again. God can do the impossible, but Humans have Free Will and they must agree to change. It must be our decision to yeild to the power of God. There was this nortorious Murderer who killed men women and children and God made him blind and spoke to him and that Murderer's heart changed, and his changed behavior was the fruit of that Miracle. I am sure many people know the story of how Saul became Paul. Thing is God's Micales stick, Paul never changed back into the murdering Saul, like the Demon Dad did when he attacked his third victim after claiming that he was a changed Man like those in the Bible. A maN's failure to change is not God's failure, but the maN's. I hate these Counterfeit Christians who give God and the rest of us Authentic Christians a bad name. Please know that if a Christian ever abused you like with Nparents, or Nspouses or even Nfriends they were not true Christians, -- they were/are Counterfeit Christians.

Nsis #1 & #2 despirately want a Dad so very much that they are willing to believe his same old lies that he has changed. Yet I know he has not because with true change comes deep remorse and he has none. I guess neither Nsister require Authentic Remorse from Demon Dad, because they don't find Authentic Remorse important because they have none to give those
they hurt. I thought my Nsisters were just Damaged much like I was from the abuse that we all had to endure, but I now realize that they are not just Damaged they are also Disordered, because only a Disorder person who knows all the facts about theses Momsters would continue to have contact with them and allow their own Children to be these Monsters prey. The Demon and the Momster are Ps and the Sisters are full blown Ns who care nothing about their own children and would rather chase after Monsters and hurt the one person who loved them in this World and would have done anything for them, and has sacraficed much for them. I asure you I am not perfect, but I have not used & abused them like the Monster Parents have done to them. I have not hurt the Nsisters like they have hurt me and each other. The P-Parents are Serpents and the Nsisters are Snakes and they can continue to live in the darkness of their Pit. For me and my family we are Letting Go and Soaring Away from the Serpent's Pit.

If you read this entire post, your are truely an Angel Such an angel! and I thank you for caring. I have been wondering if it is even possible to have a Hallmark Relationship with these Nsibs. I found an Amazing Answer that God
does want us to go NC with Toxic People. I will share the Good News with you all soon about what I found for those who are interested. And even with this new Revelation I then asked God does that apply to all my Nieces and Newphew too? Can I maintain a Hallmark Relationship with the Nsibs for the kids sake? I did not want to let go of my relationships with the Children. I know what it is like to be raised by Disorder people and I wanted so very despirately to be a shinning light of hope for them that life is different outside of the KoN. I asked God please send me confirmation that you want me to go completely NC with the NFOO even the kids -- later that same day, yesterday, I received the letter from Demon Dad showing me that it is impossible to remain in contact for the kids sake. I did not want histroy to repeat itself. I had no Uncles or Aunts (the Child Molester married to the Momster's Sis hurt me), and on the Demon Dad's side of the family, my Cousin who has imperfect but loving parents did not know how to deal with the Monster Parents so I had no contact with them until years later when my Counsin and I reunited. I did my very best to see that History would not repeat itself. I trust God and He is faithful. He will look after the Children and I know that we will bring Normal Loving People into each one of their lives so that they know what Authentic Love feels like and it will draw them out of the KoN. My prayers will always be with the Children trapped in the KoN.

No comments:

Post a Comment