Sunday, June 10, 2012

Turn The Other Cheek. . . And. . .

Okay, are you ready for a revelation that will rock your religion?

All I ask is that you reserve judgement, until you have heard everything I have to share.

After hearing this message some may want to send a hate letter, and others a thank you letter.

Again, All I ask is that you reserve judgement, until you have heard everything I have to share.

If you are in a toxic reoccurring abusive harmful relationship, Turn The Other Cheek. . . And Run!

Run, run, run, as fast as you can away from danger, away from someone who continues to harm you.

Some of you may be thinking, What about Forgiveness?

Today I would like to dispel some religious myths.

(1) Forgiveness & Reconciliation are not the same thing.
It is possible to forgive an unrepentant person, and because s/he continues to be unsafe, not have a relationship with him/her.

(2) Repentance from the abuser/attacker/sinner must come first before Forgiveness & Reconciliation.

(3) GOD calls us to pray for others, but not be prey for others.

Now for the Biblical Foundation for these 3 Truths.

(1) Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the plans  I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans of peace and not of evil, plans to give you hope and a future.

GOD has great plans for you, and being in an unsafe harmful relationship is not one of them.

(2) Luke 17:3  -- Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

Abuse of any kind crosses the line. GOD provides us with a Divine Boundary to keep us safe. A person who has caused harm must have a repentant heart that leads to repentant behavior -- no more abuse. A person must prove him/herself to be a safe person before there can be reconciliation. 

(3) Matthew 10:34-36 -- “Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.

Being related to someone, married to someone, or even sharing the same DNA does not trap us in an unsafe environment/relationship. GOD has said to separate from those who wish to cause you harm, because they have not made Christ their Lord, if they truly had there would be Fruit of the Spirit (self-control, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, gentleness, patience, peace, joy, and love).

(4) Matthew 12:33 -- Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit.

Do you hear that soft voice saying, okay now stop going back and forth. It's time to make up your mind once and for all? This is what I heard. Sure nobody is perfect. But we are not talking about human mistakes. With toxic people it is their intent to harm, whether or not they admit to it, that sets them apart from us normal imperfect people. It is their lack of conscious that gives them the ability to hurt us in the first place and most importantly their lack of true remorse and repentance that keeps them re-offending. Their hurtful & harmful behavior is the Proverbial Toxic Bad Fruit.

(5) Repentance is Essential for Salvation of our soul and relationships.

Act 17:30 -- In the past GOD overlooked . . . ignorance, but now He commands all people everywhere to repent.

Luke 13:5 -- Unless you repent you will likewise perish.

Revelation 3:19 -- Those who I love I rebuke & discipline, So be earnest and repent.

Matthew 11:20 -- Then Jesus began to denounce the cities in which most of His Miracles had been performed, because they did not repent.

Matthew 3:8 -- Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

Actions speak louder than words. Repentance (think differently; change your mind, regretting your sins and changing your conduct) Repentance is evidence of allowing GOD to transform your life. A New Person in Christ.

Therefore, if an unsafe person refuses to repent, and continues to cause harm, Turn the Other Cheek. . .
And Run as fast as you can, for these of the words of GOD and not of man.

Imagine your freedom from abuse and into abundant life. I did. I read GOD's Holy Word, that spoke of how much He loves me, came to this earth, and died violently on the cross, so that I may have life free from harm and abuse. He was wounded, so that my wounds may heal. He calls me, His Beloved. He delights in little imperfect stumbling and fumbling me! And He feels the exact same way about you too! He loves you with an unfailing everlasting Love. His Love far exceeds that of man.

Where there is Love there is no abuse, and where there is abuse there is no love.
This is our Love Letter from above.

One last message for the unsafe unrepentant people, I'm gonna Turn the Other Cheek. . .
And Run Run Run as fast as I can, you can't catch me you toxic man!
-- this applies to toxic women too who are harmful to others.

I will not be trapped in misery, for my GOD has come to set me FREE!

Back to those who are escaping the KoN (Kingdom of Narcissism). . . .

Above all Beloved, know that GOD loves you, and wants you to be safe, and longs for you to have an abundant life, which can not happen if you are in an unsafe relationship.

Our Awesome Christ says in John 10:10, "The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that you my Beloved may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance.

Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the plans  I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans of peace and not of evil, plans to give you hope and a future.

We will never achieve the Abundance of Life that GOD plans for us and has for us staying in an abusive relationship.

Has GOD ever told anyone in the Bible to leave a harmful or potentially harmful relationship? Yes. Read Gensis 13: 3-8 and Gen 21: 8-13

Blessing to you Beloved. Above all know that GOD Loves you. Listen to the Holy Spirit in what you are to do in your own given relationship. Above all be safe that is the first step towards the Abundant Life that GOD has waiting for you.


  1. There is another interpretation of the turning-the-other-cheek text that has given me comfort. It the Jewish law there is a huge difference between being struck by the open hand and by the back of the hand. Turning the other cheek is challenging the other person to strike with the back of the hand. This kind of strike has legal consequences and therefore forces the abusive person to reconsider. This is so contrary to the traditional interpretation where a believer just accepts a blow without protesting.

    1. Thank You Intuitive Feeling, for pointing out that much of what we learn in our translated Bibles gets lost in translation from the original Hebrew/Greek to English. I am in total agreement with you that "Turning The Other Cheek" was created by GOD to empower us by placing the abuser in a position where s/he will break the law & be punished for his/her transgression/attack.

  2. So glad I found your blog. I feel like as Christians sometimes we feel we have to bear abuse or dysfunction. I love how you have done the research and work to dispel those rumors of having to endure abusive people. It is hardest with your family. So hard. I have learned I'd rather be alone in life or with just friends/church people than to live in constant abuse and dysfunction.

    1. Amber, I'm glad you found this blog too, and that it has helped dispelled the messed up messages we can often get from religious folk who think being a Christian means being a victim. As Kingdom Kids we are to Victorious, not victims.

      What GOD has taught me is that Family is defined by Love not biology. Christ asked His Disciples, "Who is My Family?".

      Matthew 12:47-50
      Amplified Bible (AMP)
      47 Someone said to Him, Listen! Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak to You.
      48 But He replied to the man who told Him, Who is My mother, and who are My brothers?
      49 And stretching out His hand toward [not only the twelve disciples but all] His adherents, He said, Here are My mother and My brothers.
      50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother!

      Christ is saying you who love Me, you are like Me, you who do as I do, love as I love, do as GOD says to do, you are my Family. Being apart of GOD's Family means that we are never alone. We are more related to others by spirit, then by biology.

  3. Forgiveness is simply letting go of the anger. Forgiving someone does not excuse the acts done. It only frees you from your anger and resentment. You can still "forgive" someone and not be a part of their lives. Forgiveness gives you the power to let go and move on with your life. I think there are a lot of people out there who have the wrong understanding about what forgiveness really means. I was one of them. For years, I thought the "right" thing to do regarding my very toxic relationship to my narcissistic mother was to forgive her for what she did. That it would bring me inner peace. I learned more about forgiveness from a cousin of mine who works as a spiritual healer. It opened my eyes and made me realize I don't have to put myself through so much pain. That I was within my human rights to not have to deal with an abusive relationship with my mother. The "mother" status was not an excuse. Knowing that you can forgive someone and not have to stick around freed me from the guilt I was feeling. Instead of feeling guilty that I wasn't being a good daughter, I started feeling more guilty for allowing myself to be in that difficult situation. Precious time has been lost. She stole my childhood and tried to crush my soul. I have managed to hold on by a mere thread. But I am done trying to fix it. It's time for me to live my life without being in her shadow. Very helpful blog. I enjoyed reading it.

  4. I love this! It's beautiful, touching and 100% true! : ) I have dropped all contact with my Narcicistic Mother after some seriously disgusting behavior that is just unforgivable. And though I have forgived her, I have not reconciliated and I have never been happier and more at peace. : )

  5. After reading the scripture where Jesus says to turn the other cheek, I was left with the impression we are just not to engage in the offender's fight, ie. "fight back". Which is something none of us ever chose to do anyway. We just wanted to be a good example and win them to the Lord. I have been very serious about always serving Christ and I no longer feel any guilt about being NC after 8 mo. The guilt didn't last long at all. After all she is the guilty one. And this blog and others like it give me soooooooo very much strength.

    1. Yes, the guilt is part of the the rotten FOG (Fear Obligation Guilt) that keeps us trapped in the other person's KoN (Kingdom of Narcissism). Christ is the Light that gets rid of the FOG, and gives us our freedom. If I was still in the N's KoN I would be caught up in all that toxic mess that I would not have the energy, time, and miss out on the Joy of what GOD has for me once I left the N's captivity which is to begin a new foundation helping children in need. I only regret I have about leaving the KoN is that when I did it over 20 years ago, due to the FOG I went back, but never again since I have found freedom in GOD's Holy Word. Blessings to you tinar r -- Keep Moving Forward and watch what great things GOD has for you now that your life time is not being wasted being trapped in the KoN.